Reflections on sharing
I stopped giving a shit a few days before my first speaking engagement.
I’d spent months pouring over my life, my patterns, my feedback loops and my body of work. That’ll shake a few apples loose, let me tell you. There were many nerves, until there weren’t.
I got to a point where I knew I’d created an experience that would visually tell my story my way (and keep my brain and hands busy while I did some serious sharing).
Stretch goal? Public speaking.
Real stretch? Public vulnerability.
Real reeeeal stretch? Vulnerability.
It’s not actually about the speaking in the end, or about the standing up and sharing all the corners of your life (the a tattoo choker, the 00s brows, the not-so-fresh baby me with the fresh baby). Really, it’s about opening up all the closed parts, loving them and letting them go, realising there are lots of moments in life that have set me on a path but have not determined my destination, that path was mine to make. Going through it all to prep for this talk and creating the visual is an epic way to see really how far we’ve come.
I got to see pro bono work that pulled me out of hard times and gave me purpose, resulting in fulfilling, paid and aligned work years later, see connections made turn into long-standing blessings (IYKYK). When things get hard now, I see an isolated angry teen me but instead of going inward and being self-destructive, I now reach out, see how I can connect, how I can help others. Covid, recession, cost of living - I’ve learnt not to collapse inwards because the way up is together. Turns out the real rebellion is against your own self-destruction.
The speaking part
I don’t do the people-ing. Typically I like to be 1 of 3 places
Home
My doom cubby
A flower field
You might be missing 'behind a mic in front of a group' from that list. Because it is. Because 🤢. I don’t do the people-ing (except I very much do, do the people-ing, just usually in smaller doses)
But what I definitely do, is achievement. I noticed this in depth when I went traipsing down memory lane for my talk. I’ve always looked to validation through achievement where validation has been otherwise absent.
So anyway, of course I set about the project as I do any other.
What's the whole story?
What’s the juice?
Who am I telling and why?
3a. Given this is my journey, how do I visually take my audience along with me?
And then on a more personal level
What am I willing to share (what’s necessary but respectful to those involved)
How do I get through it (hard bit - funny bit - hard bit - funny bit)
I debuted this talk at Chrysalis Networking for Women that I’ve been attending for around 18 months. It's a safe environment that I am familiar with. A judgement free zone.
My first born son surprised me the night before by announcing he was coming along to support me - to a women’s business group. Given I’d just gone over my whole life with a fine tooth comb and found pics to match the peaks and troughs, watching that little baby in my exhausted arms arrive to support me do something really hard 21 years later felt like closing a loop.
My goal was around getting comfortable being uncomfortable and I was shocked how many women wanted to talk to me afterwards relating to my story, their own patterns highlighted in mine, their own stories a little bit spoken, my resilience relatable and appreciated. More people-ing.
I don’t do the people-ing?
The presentation itself was a bit of a show stopper (duh, a creative can't just show up with a PowerPoint) and quite a few people reached out wanting to learn more about putting together an engaging visual to help tell a story. This is where I pretend I don’t love attention.
The presentation followed this format
HIGHLIGHTS - Hook em, quick ride, insta shots
BTS - The big reveal, bring em down, reality is a ride, get real
LEARNINGS - Wrap it up, f*ck that off
Aside from looking awesome and keeping people from staring into my soul, the visual aspect of the speech was mechanically simple to operate and a great way to give the whole thing a bit of Lemonface zestiness. Is that a lil citrus in your eye or are you just relating a bit hard right now?
I presented this for a second time at my local Women in Business group run by The Horowhenua Company and can tell you if there’s one thing I learned from this whole process it’s to take the mask off from time to time and let people see you.
If you were paying attention, I chase the bits of my story that make my throat close up a bit with a sharp bit of humour. I wrap up cracking myself open with a dry quip. I presented my first speech in plaid rainbow and my second in full black.
That’s me. And I’ve realised the more me I let myself be - the better I get.
Karli Mitchell & Helen Wall - Get Content
